Mailbag: Expectations

In a recent email, one gentleman was wondering what he could expect from other people if he shaved his head.

I still don't know how society, people in general, even friends would react to me, to my face, to my personality, to my look,... or to any shaved man in our society.

Somehow it seems to me that society is still biased, doubtfull and somehow "ambivalent" toward and about a bald/shaved man.

It seems that it is more natural to accept a man whose hair has receded naturally than a shaved man.

My real question is : What are the people's, men's, women's reaction to a shaved man ( Not a natural bald or semi bald man, but a shaved man).

People's reactions to a bald-by-choice person depend on the individual people in question. There is no single reaction that is consistent across a population in this regard.

Some people will think it's fantastic, and they'll absolutely love the look. These people may even take the time to compliment you on your appearance.

Some people will think it's terrible, and they'll assume negative things about you based solely on your appearance. These people will not usually tell you this; they'll make their judgements privately.

Most people won't care too much either way. They're largely indifferent to your appearance whether you have hair or not, and it won't sway their opinion of you in either direction. They may think it looks good or looks bad, but they don't really care.

And the truth is, these reactions hold no matter what your appearance. People may judge you negatively or positively for almost any aspect of your external appearance, and for the most part, you'll never know.

Based on email correspondence over many years with hundreds of head-shavers, I can say with confidence that most people who shave their heads get much more positive attention than negative attention. As I said before, people who really like it will sometimes tell you so, while people who don't like it usually keep it to themselves, so you end up with many compliments and few or no criticisms.

Does that mean that you (specifically) will get good responses? I don't know. There are never any guarantees. But by and large, I would expect you to get good responses.

Whatever choice you make, though, make it one that you are comfortable with. The opinions of others will vary and may change like the wind. You can't control what other people think of you, and it's stressful to even try to do so. Make yourself happy and it matters less what others think.

Voting for a change (of hairstyle)

At Auburn University, the Dean's willing to shave his head to get his students to vote.

In an attempt to persuade students to vote in Auburn University's Student Government Association elections Feb. 9, Dean of Students Kent Smith said he will shave his head if 7,200 students turn out for the elections.

Smith said in the last election 6,400 students voted. His goal is to raise the number 12 percent.

"I'm trying to find ways to motivate students to be part of the political process," Smith said.

It sounds like something of a sacrifice for the Dean, too.

"I've never had a shaved head, and I'm not sure how interested I am in that. However, if the students come through, I'll do it," he said.

I wonder if there's any way to convince politicians to shave their heads for votes?

Mailbag: More positive reinforcement

Following up on a previous post, here's some more positive comments I've received from people who shaved their heads for the first time. This first one's from John:

My wife loves it! I'd been begging for her approval about shaving my head for two years and gotten a VERY negative response. (You married guys know what I'm talking about. No major decisions without prior consent!) That is, until yesterday. Out of no where, after years of saying I'd look like a goon, she said she thought I'd look good bald so I should do it ASAP! I sent her your link a month ago but figured she never even checked it out. Now she won't leave me alone. Although I find it a bit embarrassing, she's calling everyone telling them about it.

For many guys, the decision to shave or not to shave is at least partially up to their wives. I'm glad it worked out for John.

I wrote you about a month ago about shaving my head for the first time. Well, I did it and everyone likes it, and says it looks much better than hair on the sides. And people love touching the bald and smoothly shave scalp. Everyone told me why didn't I do it in the first place. I told them I didn't know how people would react. They told me not to worry what people think, its your hair and no one else's. As long as you feel comfortable with it, don't worry.

That one covers my philosophy in a nutshell. You can't please everyone with your appearance, but you should at least try to be comfortable with yourself.